Hey everyone I wanted to make this blog to show you what I luv to do as far as crafting and and also other amaizing things I do with my family I also might start posting show notes of the YouTube podcast that I make for my knitting adventures and all the good things that comes within that I also have to say that I am enjoying this community a whole lot I never thought there were so many wonderful people out here I have to say thank you to those that subscribe to my channel and for those who are just checking my channel subscribe hit like is free and lets join each other in this amaizing community I can’t wait to share all these fun things I will be making or getting into.
R pet warms your heart and brings you smiles I luv my princess she means a lot to me who warms your hearts what’s your favorite animal?
i have been monitoring my kids in school and knitting a whole lot lately and i have been working out for the past 14 days straight and boy has it been hard and i been verry on point with my workouts is a challenge and let me tell you it has been tough the workouts are a challenge but with the right group and a coch that pushes to the max you get it done sometimes i feel like quiting but once i workout i feel dome good about myself so i been pushing myself to finish and i am proud of myself i am also eating better and knitting a whole lot i also got my mom a dining table for christmas and my dad a recliner so i am proud of myself and i got all the little ones in the family their little gifts and that makes me happy kids are the one that expect santa to get them a gift and me and the hubby made that happen it is also an amaizing feeling to have a men that helps you make things happen i love my men if yoou have a great men apreciate him and cherish him because their are very few of them here on earth that being said i am so happy my life makes more sence and i see the bright light down the tonel have a great christmas and new years stay safe and cherish these moments with your kids and love ones
i have been decorating for the holidays i have kids and they love to see the tree i change the curtains move the furniture around and i have been knitting a lot lately and my craft room was full of gifts and my mom came to help me wrap the gifts so i can take them out of the yarn room thank god today i put away the laundry and clean the yarn room my room and workout today it was a bizzy a lot hubby has pain on his back so i have been helping him and keeping bizzy myself i finish a pair of socks today and i feel happy i was feeling a little down have no idea why but i wasnt gonna workout but i got energy and worked out i felt better and so i did life was great after that i want to knit more and i made so many dish cloths like a lot i luv making dish cloths
ever since I found out I was pregnant and then found out that I was having a boy. I was so exited then I stated to my belly when you get older I would luv for you to join the Navy with his uncle and boy he is now 18 years old and the conversation came and he stated that he those not want to be in dept he wants to go to college but dont want to be in dept that he want to go to college but that being in the navy they will pay for school and he will become discipline and that’s what he needs and want boy was I happy to here this and who better then his uncle to do the right thing my son is very bright and articulate and this is great for him a beautiful future for him and I am exited for him and I know he will be ok he’s father preferred him to go to college but he don’t want to be in dept so that’s the smart way to go about it I am scared but happy for him his uncle will be assisting my son with important information for joining and I know in his uncles hand he will be ok that’s the news now
I can’t believe he is gonna retired I herd his new music and it broke my heart he is a puertoriquen artist that raps in Spanish and he sing he makes music that touches your heart he is amazing and his girlfriend Karol G they are both amaizing artist I identify myself with his music the words has a lot of meaning and feeling is ashamed he is gonna retired I wish him the best the truth is that what he stated makes sense for what all the money in the world and buy his son everything if someone else is raising his son he rather retired to spend more time with hiss son and do all the things with his son as a artist you can’t even breath or go to the store alone so I get it he states the money don’t make him happy he want to be around his son be a father not just provide for his son he also states he has it all and it don’t fill him up meaning it don’t make him happy
being at home has cause me to fall back in eating excessively and i don’t fit my clothes so yeah super sad moment for me i take my weight very seriously like i gain one pound and i stress like crazy but i will be getting back into my routine again so yeah shakes teas water and lots of salads and i just want to say when you eat healthy and you take that leap and change your habits again you gain weight faster then you loose it so yeah i will get back in to shape because my weight will cause my health issues that i cant afford to get worst so lets get back in game and if you want to join me lets start this Monday with all 100% and lets push together the truth is i do Herbalife and i am a part of team beauty and we empower men and women and we do challenges to keep us accountable and we have chats and lots of meal ideas to enjoy so i don’t have an excuses as to mess up but we are human and things happened but we have to get back in shape and get well for us push our self more then before oh yeah did i mention we also provide workouts and you work out in your own time you just have to post your sweaty pictures in the chats along with all of us in team beauty so who is with me we have product for diabetes and cholesterol heart problems and more and if you tend to snack a lot we have a snack defense that works and i just order a few products that i need and if you click on my link on my Instagram it will take you directly to my site where you will purchase your products trust the process i know it works so don’t discourage your self trust me we will do this together
I am up so early I can’t sleep is because anxiety has hit me again why do we let our mind drive us crazy these are things that some of us can not control but we can make it work right now some coffee and some outdoors works and some fresh air as well life is hard but we have to make the best off it I also maid some bad choices and my weight went up yeah I wasn’t eating right I stop working out I have a little of depression starting but I have to maintain my composure or ill go crazy the truth sometimes when you least expect it their are memories from the past that comes back and you can’t control that I keep myself busy because if not it will drive me nuts their are things in my past that hunts me and they mark me for life and is a scar that those not heel their are times when I can over come it and it don’t come to hunt me and I live just fine but when it comes what can we do you know especially when you never got help for it going to a shrink don’t mean your crazy is just smart but we don’t think of it in that way any who I was rape when I was a child I was malested my my uncle and those are scars I can never forget you have the people that tell you ay just let it go and move on but if it happened to you could you let it go Because I don’t really think so as a little girl I was loved I always felt like I didn’t belong there with my mom yes with my mom why because I had to pay for what ever my dad had do to her she hated that I look like she hated that I have the same smile like him so that bother her is not right for a child to pay for her father and mothers mistake but I had to pay and because of this matter my mom was not close to me she was close to my other cusins more then yes I had food and a home a bed to sleep in but I felt lonely and very out of place life goes on is what I am told or like my aunts tells she is never change I get it but I never thought I would be such a burden to my mom is bad that your the only child and you get treated like if your not their child you feel weird I felt adopted well as least at one point I thought I was adopted but she was so cold with me and distance I never knew why wasn’t she like that with the other kids in the family it was just me truth is she told me all the time I never wanted you I try so many things to not have you that freaking smile like your dad and so far and so for this hurt me as I was going up with her deeply it maid me not trust no-one I am not a people person but I am a loving person I love to take care of my kids and give them love and so forth but I truly don’t know what that is life is hard and when as a child you are mark like this their is no going back you may for get for a bit but it comes back and when it those it hurts as if it just happened to me and I start to wonder why why did I deserve this treated from the one person that was suppose nurture me and love why later on in the years my mom ask me why are you so distance from me and I just couldn’t anwer her I just didn’t know why but the truth is she taught me to be this way I am the only child and I had to live this lifestyle for years as a kid is not something you just forget yes she has told me now that she is sorry but sorry those not cut it with me even though she did what she did I was always there for her and I try to give anything she ask for because she is my mother but I just can’t forget I have forgiving her but I can’t forget you know I have trust issues because of her and I can’t change that the truth is I love my mom with all my heart but I can’t be clingi with her like I go visit her and spend time with her and the family but I can’t be with her every day is just how she raise she couldn’t even look at me when I small or hug me or tell me she loved me she just always said you look like your father and if I smile I would get smack just cause I never understood why she hated me so much that she would leave me in my aunts house and disappear or leave me with her aunt disappear and I woulnt even here from her then when she became gay she definitly forgot about me it was all about her girl and her she left me at my grandmas house and forgot I was their I am not innocent by any means but I always ask her why are you like that with me what did I ever do to deserve this from you I mean as I got older I started not to care for her because I felt all my life that she didn’t care bout me but I could cry in my room and know she herd me cry and she would go and check up on me not once as a child or a teen she check on me and hug me or said I love in my teen years she completely forgot bout me there were times I didn’t even know if she was home or not she even stop leaving food cooked in the stove like I said it was all about her girl Nancy boy I hated this lady with a passion she unto wake me up at 5 in the morning and tell me go leave because your mom is in a bad mood and she said she was gonna hit me so being a teen didn’t want to get hit I would get dress quietly and leave not knowing that this lady lied so that I can get when I come home that’s messed up she did this for a while then their were times that my mom would be home but this lady wouldnt let me in my moms room and I would argue with her and to be honest I was disrespectful to Nancy because why I can’t see my mom any who it didn’t matter what I said nothing was ever good to my mom then she became an alcoholic so here goes another boom in my face anyways I youse to at this point just leave the house and hang out with my friends and chill drink smoke wee I didn’t have no-one to guide me or nurture me so I was looking for that in the street with my friends that led to a lot of bad things but I manage then I started working now she wanted to talk to me you have to give $50.00 every time you get paid I said no I am not giving you money to drink I’m sorry you have to cause you live in my roof I’m not giving you money to drink time past and then we started talking again but this time I wanted to take my mom out to eat dinner and shopping but I couldn’t even do that because she would tell me Nancy has to go to and I would tell her no I just want go out with you as my mom but no I never got that chance because if her girl was not coming that wasn’t happening so felt neglected to I drop out of high school I was in my las year to work for what I was going to school I was leaving at twelve and I was chilling at my dads house all the time and going to work she didn’t even know I had sign off school that’s how much she cared about me I only remember when was maybe 5 to 8 the last time my mom show she cared when she unto study with me in school and she would take me to school that she took her time helping study for a spelling test then it all went down the line from there this is what I remember thus far then one day my boyfriend told move in with me and so I did she didn’t even notice I was gone until I decided to come back one day to get my stuff can you believe she had the nerve to beat me up because I was leaving the nerve in her to hit me like if she earn that position hearing those words throughout my child hood was not easy I didn’t want to have you I try everything to not have you I didn’t want you your father beat me your father cheated on me in my head all kept saying to myself then why you gave birth to me why if I maid you so upset by looking at me why didn’t you just quit on me because I look like my dad I didn’t do this to you he did I didn’t ask to be born u gave birth to me I didn’t cheat on you he did I didn’t beat you he did as I got older I just maid some choices in life because I had no guidance no support no one who love me and I got in trouble with the law a couple of times I party I drunk liquor I smoke some I did a lot of things I am not proud of but then one day I change I stop everything I was doing met my sons father moved with him and felt safe had a child and I went back to school and I graduated and I happy to say I have my ged and my associated in medical administration and my bachelors in coding I did for me and my son I became a better person a bit bitter but I change life was hard for me but I change many of you might not believe what your reading but is true I know this hard for some people to believe but it is truth my truth and I felt like I wanted to share this with you guys because I feel like I am drowning and here I feel okay to share my stories and I hope you guys don’t judge me but sometime you rip what you sew I will share more with you guys another time just needed to vent with you all
as for me I’ve been looking for better ways to organize my planner items but i have so many pens papers folders and highlighters and more it becomes a bit overwhelming but i like having my collection also having another hobby like knitting really makes you go crazy and buying all these notions and project bags as well as knitting needles i mean wao if you have checked my YouTube videos you have seen in the background how crazy my collection has gotten but i have to say i love it but i have stop spending on yarn but now i picked up on buying lots of different types of planners omg this is crazy your saying but i am disable so my time has to go on something right i was told to get a hobby ok i started with Northface bookbags and i have to say i have like 20 of them i gave some away but then i was told to find another hobby ok i learn how to do makeup so that was a bad idea i have loads of it trust me i started to do my makeup and then i was told i was spending so much money on unnecessary things so i always love planning because in paper i get things done and i enjoy marking when i finish something i feel so productive but then i notice they sell cute dashboards clear dividers and stickers and boy i went down the drain from there but i enjoy it their is no problem in having a hobby is when you spend too much money in these items that’s crazy i have to control my expenses but i have to say my bills and my kids are being taken care we have food clothes and more but i am also paying off my credit cards depts. and other things like Fingerhut and stuff but i am on track though but i want to save more money then spend also when you have a hubby that never says no to you is hard i love him he is such an amazing men any who that being said he is the best and it feels good to be pamper he is also taking care of other tickets and court fees he is paying off because we want to be dep’t free and buy a house and get a car for us and the kids also i have a 18 year old boy who is going to college next year and i have to safe to help him as well i also have a life insurance for my kids and me so that’s smart and we are living good but next project i want to take care off is finish the living room and my bedroom and glam it up but on a budget of course but i want to buy things that in like five years i can move to a house and be dep’t free as well is important for me to save money thank god we have had thee only luck god is great