I haven’t noticed that for two weeks straight I haven’t got any sleep! I have been watching youtube and knitting super late at night and somehow did not noticed that time has pass me by! I have to say I have been moody a bit. but did not noticed that because of lack of sleep things been bothering me a bit.
well my dear friends from the inter webs let me tell you it is real, the struggle is real, being that I have lupus my doctors band me from being outside. my immune system is trash apparently and I cannot be outside so that I don’t get corona virus or any virus in the air. Jesus this has taken a toll on me, and I didn’t even noticed. with all the painting and rearanging the rooms in the house and playing animal crossing. it has acured to me that being in lock down has cause me to stress and I also have a severe sleep apnea thing going on. it those bother me that I can’t go outside nor the fact that this is it for now. and that I am stuck at home. I miss the fresh air. and going to get a coffee. I miss my freedom. I miss browsing through the stores. this has stressed me in a way I never thought it would. omg I miss my mom so much, I mean do FaceTime but it is not the same at all. I miss drinking coffee with her and laughing at dome stuff and spending time together. and yes I am still a child I like to bother my mother I mean that’s my job. my dad was sick not so long ago and was taken to the hospital and I couldn’t be there. that killed me why because my immune system is trash I couldn’t be there.
I also been blessed to see my fiber family through zoom but it is not the same. I miss the face to face and just talking bout yarn and other things while being together. I really miss the fresh air of being outside. I have try to keep myself dizzy and try not to think about what is going on but the truth is I have been thinking bout everything and it bothers me that we have to be locked in. I mean I am not ignorant I know that this is to keep us safe because what’s going on in the world is dangerous and this is the safe way to do it social distancing.
I am not allow to be outside is all I can think of! the truth this is the safe way to be. this is also scary that we are going through this but I hope they find the cure soon. even though I know life will never be the same. some people deserve to breath some air. I am moody is true, lack of sleep plays a big part in it.
so last night I drunk a sleeping pill! yes you herd me I had to because I feel to moody at times and I take things out on my boyfriend at times and he don’t deserve it! you might see me as a bitch but the truth is I am human and tired of being in the house. but any who I drunk the pill I did get some sleep last night I am feeling a little better today. hopefully I can fall asleep tonight without the medication because I don’t want to be like some people that get adicted to these medications because that is horrible. ill try to go to sleep without them tonight and let you guys know how it goes.
my boyfriend is such a sweet heart he got me a Dagne dover bag he is the sweetest men on earth I hope he can forgive my temper tantrum because lack of sleep plays a big part in this and I don’t mean it.
I hope everyone is doing better then me and enjoying the breaze when need be and have a bless night everyone
my kids are doing good thank god and things will get better god willing!